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Videocall fatigue

As a result of the Corona virus the amount of online conversations have increased with about 200%. It was fine before Covid when i just had the work meetings online (company policy – video first) and talking to my fiancee which is lovely in every way. Then this little slideshow based on a BBC worklife article came up in my feed from Carleton SWA:s showed up in my feed pinpointing exactly my experience over the past few weeks.

Especially slide two really applies to me. As i am having aspergers, something that already is difficult like social cues gets even more difficult in the video call situation. It simply takes a lot more energy to process the cues that i get than when talking to a normal friend. I have also discovered that i much easier gets sidetracked by everything around me.

In this times i want life to go back to normal so i would get some IRL input and not just videocalls. Being quite an introvert guy helps, but still the processing and the occasional person who forgets to shut their mic off makes my brain go bananas at times.

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The lack of platonic touch

I read an article this past week on the need of platonic (non sexual) touch for men by Mark Green that can be read here. . I have come to think more on that article. To quote the author “We crave touch. We are cut off from it. The result is touch isolation”. Touch isolation or not? For my self i am a quite physical person, especially as I have a lot of friends of the opposite gender. Therefore I am not isolated from touch but many other are.Bruce Springsteen wrote

”We don’t have to call it love, we just need a human touch”

 

Touch is important. Touch creates bonds between people. May this be a result of the ideal of a man?. The ideal to always be strong, wise and work hard. The soft man like my self is often seen with an eye of silliness. I don’t think that you don’t always have to be strong. Touching is daring to vulnerable. By daring to be vulnerable we can see each other and by the non sexual touch we create connections to each other.

When I studied psychology in high school I came across a book named “The healing touch: an introduction to organismic psychotherapy” by the American gestalt therapist Malcolm Brown.  He used touch in therapy as a way to unlock trauma patients through the therapy together with his wife. Touch can be both healing and scarring. If you like I, have experienced abuse of touch it is hard to let people touch you. Anyhow an important lesson is that we need a certain amount of touch everyday.

The necessity of touch is clear and I think Mark Green is something on the way. Touch doesn’t have to be sexual, and if men don’t touch it will be very difficult with dating. Holding and caring must be revived! Not sexualized touch but non sexual.

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Välkomna!

Här händer det saker!

 

Här kommer det komma mer info om det som inte är musik…